So you want to get an advanced degree...

    There are a few things I have always known that I wanted for my life. I wanted to be a teacher and a principal. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. As I saw these wishes coming true, I had a new dream that I wanted just for myself and that was to obtain my doctorate degree. Today, I mailed out my final copy to my committee and I wanted to capture advice as I prepare for my defense in a few weeks. I even asked an online doctoral group for their advice to make sure I represented not only myself but other working mothers who might be in similar situations. Here are the top 5 things to keep in your pocket while traveling this road:

    1-Find Your People I was not sure which program I wanted to be in and took my time looking at and deciding on which one was right for me. I was accepted into a well-respected superintendency program that lasted three years and utilized a cohort of twelve model. Even within this group, I found people to lean on, talk with, even cry with who were in similar places in their lives. Additionally, my program was 3 hours away so I had a group of friends to ride with. They were in different cohorts and we were able to learn from each other as there was always someone a year ahead or behind us. Those drives to and from felt like a treat and I miss them as this last year did not require a drive each week. Accountability partners are another strategy for self-care and success. 

    2-Listen You Must When you find your people, listen closely to what they say! Whether these are people who have traveled the road ahead of you, they are with you in the journey and have uncovered some wisdom, or are your professors, listen! Listen not only to the words but to what they are saying, and why. If you are not sure, ask. Write these things down and revisit them. Join a group (Facebook group, etc..) and gain some outside wisdom. Author, Dan Simmons said, "Context is to data what water is to a dolphin". You will likely only travel this road once and their context is what will keep you afloat in the most challenging times. 

    3-Jugglers Can Only Juggle So Many Items Many of us in doctoral programs have experienced high levels of success in not only our professional lives but while also juggling personal responsibilities. We are used to multitasking and are adept at it. Adding doctoral work probably means at any given point you can no longer juggle all the "things" you have in the past. You can expect weight gain, tears, and even new coping mechanisms as you travel this road. One of the best pieces of advice I received was to give yourself grace. When my chair told me that, I broke down in loud sobs, just after hanging up. Overeating chocolate chip cookies while writing does not mean you will always find your pants are too tight. Finding too many cleaning projects while you procrastinate writing does not mean you will never get it done. That leads me to number 4:

    4-Every Step Forward is a Step Forward It sounds so simple and it is. Really. Are you overwhelmed at the work you need to do? Break it down. It could be committing to just 15 minutes in the chair with focused effort. It could be just writing one paragraph. Those teeny tiny steps are way better than doing nothing at all because you feel overwhelmed by the mountain ahead. "Milestones not deadlines" is a great mantra when trying to maintain the momentum. Keep in mind that the goal here is to get done and not to save the world. You can do that after you finish! I have heard this piece of advice from personal friends and my online doctoral group. 

In order to take those steps forward be intentional about selecting a place to work that works for you. I prefer a busy coffee shop but as we are in the midst of quarantine, I had to find my "happy place" here in my home. I have friends who prefer the public library, a specific room in their home, I even have a friend who loves to write while her children play all around her! In the same vein, find a time that works for you. Are you freshest early in the morning? Do you like to grab 30 minutes here and there throughout the day? Are you are a weekend warrior? Author and pastor, John Maxwell has said, "If you want to reach your goals, and fulfill your potential, become intentional about your personal growth. It will change your life." 

When a friend would say, "everyone is on their own journey" I found it annoying but as I am wrapping up this season, I can testify how true it is! Comparison really is the thief of joy-and progress! Within my cohort, we have all raced ahead, stalled, and plodded forward. Not everyone who was a frontrunner, in the beginning, finished first. In fact, there is no prize for the one who finishes first. My favorite memory from this expedition is when I was lamenting to a dear friend in my program about a C I had received on an assignment early on. She turned to me and asked, "Do you know what they call doctoral students who get C's??!!" There was a pregnant pause because I was literally trying to figure out what label I would get for this grade. "DOCTOR" was her emphatic response. That was definitely a cognitive shift moment for me. (Go watch "Put one foot in front of the other" from Frosty the Snowman on YouTube-that's your song!) Lastly...

    5-Select Your Committee Carefully This group should be made up of people who both have expertise/interest in your topic AND are supportive of you as a person (trust your gut on the vibe). There are many stories among the online group and colleagues about challenges due to committee members. 

    I hope these five pieces of advice are helpful to you. Did I miss anything? What would you add? Adelante!